'Deck' or 'Fin'? The saavy hipster knows...

College is a perfect time to reinvent yourself. Away from the conforming pressures of high school and living at home under your parents' watchful stare, you are free to expand your horizons and become any sort of person that you want. However, in this time of reinvention it is important to avoid the identity pitfalls that befall so many of us: the unwashed hippie, the overambitious entrepreneur, the frat guy. Luckily, there is now a book to guide the impressionable on their way to an identity that is truly tasteful and cool: the invaluable, the incomparable, The Hipster Handbook (Robert Lanham, Anchor Books).

Indeed, there is no particularly good reason to at least look at this book. It doesn't take particularly long to read and it's considerably funnier than your average dreadfully un-hip sitcom. Plus, it makes a great coffee table book, especially if you have self-aware hipster friends with a good sense of humor, who will undoubtedly recognize their own quirks and habits being mentioned in the book. But the book's greatest value is undoubtedly what is has to teach, both for the aspiring hipster and those who suspect that they themselves may in fact belong to this elusive breed.

The best way I can think to elucidate on this subject is by examining myself, and determining if I may be a hipster. Starting from the opening "11 Clues You May Be a Hipster," things seem to be pointing in the hipster direction for me. Examples: I carry a messenger bag and occasionally can be seen wearing horn rimmed glasses; I consider myself cultured but have "pop vices" (the book mentions Elimidate, Quiet Riot, and Entertainment Weekly; I personally prefer Blind Date and often read a friend's copies of Entertainment Weekly before they have a chance to). What else? I own albums put out by labels like Matador, Dischord, and Drag City, and now that I think about it, I really do only have about one "Republican friend", whom I have at times referred to as "my Republican friend." Sadly I am not into vegetarian dinner parties, but I will admit to sometimes wanting my hair to have an "unwashed" look. So there are a good seven out of eleven clues that apply to me, and all the clues "That You May Not Be a Hipster" (such as having affection for Sunday School, suburbs, Dave Matthews, and SUV's) don't really apply. So things are looking good.

The next section proves to be a bit of downer though: it's a hipster dictionary, and frankly, the majority of the terms of I've never heard anyone use. No longer is it cool to say "cool", one must now refer to all things formerly "cool" as "deck" and all things formerly "uncool" as "fin". Other hipster terms (which I intend to integrate into my vocabulary) include "ishtar" for bad, "lilith" (as in the Fair) to refer to clichés of lesbian culture, and my personal favorite, "frado" to refer to an ugly guy. The fact that a "Maxwell" is a gay hipster (like John Russell) is a bit worrying though, as my middle name is in fact Maxwell. However, that may work for me, since at least a hint of bisexualism or experimentation is considered quite deck.

In addition to containing lists of what books, CD's and movies hipsters should be familiar with (an area in which I must say I did admirably well) and sections devoted to the potential of various hipster with hipster relationships, as well as hipster with "midtown" (meaning un-hip) relationships, the book carefully profiles the various hipster types. I found myself to be a combination of three. I'm one part UTF (Unemployed Trust Funder) in that I mostly live off my parents (well at least for now, or so I say), one part Loner, in terms of my common social awkwardness, self-deprecating sense of humor (quite apparent in this article I know) and obsessive record collecting, and one part Polit (political and literary) in that I'm from a middle class background, am seeking a degree in English for the purpose of creative writing, and count Camus' The Stranger as a favorite novel. Of what this all adds up to I have no idea.

What more can I say to recommend this book? It has plenty of valuable fashion tips, including illustrated hairstyles (I aspire to lose my "Jewfro" in favor of a "tossed Caesar" or even a "faux-hawk"), hipster websites, even hipster interview tips. In short, this book should be your guide. You will face many choices in college; make sure to follow the deck path, or you could end up a pretty Ishtar Frado.