2008 Woodie Awards
Don't Ask (I'm Telling): Alcohol - No 'drinking games' here
Life lessons, accountability & hope
Matt Hill Comer
Issue date: 10/10/06 Section: Opinions
It is a lesson I thought I knew. It is a lesson I thought I'd never have to personally experience. It is a lesson that has (and continues to have) huge impacts on my personal life - both mentally and physically - my familial life, my public life and in my relations with friends and colleagues. It is a lesson I hope no one has to personally experience themselves and that is why I am both publicly, and personally, confronting this issue head-on:
Drinking alcohol is not a game. If not used maturely and responsibly, alcohol is deadly. As a human, you are not invincible, your body can only take so much and you can die.
Sometimes there are things you may think could never happen to you. I, for one, never thought I'd be irresponsible or immature enough to make decisions that would send me to the hospital and bring me almost to the point of being in a coma or the grave.
We've all heard the warnings and the cautions about alcohol. We've heard the statistics: 1700 students between the ages of 18-24 die from unintentional, alcohol-related incidents each year. 599,000 students between the ages of 18-24 are unintentionally injured in alcohol-related incidents each year. 31 percent of college students meet the criteria for alcohol abuse, whether that be a one time occurrence (like mine) or a continuing one. For the LGBT community, of which I am a part, alcohol abuse affects an estimated 20-30% of people, a rate that is two to three times higher than that of the general population. These warnings, cautions and statistics, however, aren't always enough to counter-act the vulnerability of youth or immaturity.
On top of my personal lessons on alcohol abuse, I've learned (and am still learning) many other life lessons as well. First, your actions impact more than just you. They impact your friends, family, organizations and school. Second, friends can sometimes be more than just people you care about, have fun with or trust; sometimes they are your angels, the people who save your life. Third, expect that you will be held accountable for your actions. Fourth, life is precious; don't end it early because of irresponsibility and stupidity.
I would hope that the fourth lesson is one all people already know. The third lesson is an important one though, especially for all leaders, including student leaders, community leaders and government leaders. My decisions and actions occurred at a time when I was representing UNCG PRIDE!, a group on this campus I have served (and will continue to serve, if only in a different capacity) since I first came here. As a leader, I understand the concept of accountability. When a person does something wrong, harms himself or another person or harms a group or community because of his or her own decisions and actions, that person will be held accountable.
What kind of group image did I portray to the community? As a student leader, what kind of example was I setting to our members? Not a very good one. Because of this, I have had to face what has probably been the most painful and emotional public consequence of my decisions: I am no longer an executive board member of UNCG PRIDE!.
Although I was not the only person who made wrong or poor choices that night, I was the one who made the decision to take my actions into the public while representing my group. PRIDE! was automatically, negatively reflected upon in the minds of hundreds of people. My resignation from the PRIDE! board last Wednesday was the accountability I faced as a student leader and it is one I took voluntarily when asked to do so by the board. Other board members will be held fairly accountable for their actions. In leadership and in life, personal and public accountability must be enforced.
I did not write these things in my column for pity or sympathy. I wrote this open and honest message for one simple reason: I am publicly confronting my decisions in an effort and hope that the difficult lessons I have learned can be imparted upon my friends, fellow students and community. Hopefully, others can learn from my mistakes and not make the same decisions I made.
Life, especially as a college student, is full of poor choices. Decisions are made and lessons are learned. My negative decisions and life situations can, hopefully, be turned into a positive impact for my organization and for my friends. I will "bear my cross" and the responsibility I now have in owning up to my mistakes and imparting the lessons I have learned so that others may learn through me. I have learned a hard, almost fatal lesson and if I can save just one person from making the same irresponsible decisions I made, then we are all better off for it.
Read more from Matt at his blog, www.matthillnc.com.
Drinking alcohol is not a game. If not used maturely and responsibly, alcohol is deadly. As a human, you are not invincible, your body can only take so much and you can die.
Sometimes there are things you may think could never happen to you. I, for one, never thought I'd be irresponsible or immature enough to make decisions that would send me to the hospital and bring me almost to the point of being in a coma or the grave.
We've all heard the warnings and the cautions about alcohol. We've heard the statistics: 1700 students between the ages of 18-24 die from unintentional, alcohol-related incidents each year. 599,000 students between the ages of 18-24 are unintentionally injured in alcohol-related incidents each year. 31 percent of college students meet the criteria for alcohol abuse, whether that be a one time occurrence (like mine) or a continuing one. For the LGBT community, of which I am a part, alcohol abuse affects an estimated 20-30% of people, a rate that is two to three times higher than that of the general population. These warnings, cautions and statistics, however, aren't always enough to counter-act the vulnerability of youth or immaturity.
On top of my personal lessons on alcohol abuse, I've learned (and am still learning) many other life lessons as well. First, your actions impact more than just you. They impact your friends, family, organizations and school. Second, friends can sometimes be more than just people you care about, have fun with or trust; sometimes they are your angels, the people who save your life. Third, expect that you will be held accountable for your actions. Fourth, life is precious; don't end it early because of irresponsibility and stupidity.
I would hope that the fourth lesson is one all people already know. The third lesson is an important one though, especially for all leaders, including student leaders, community leaders and government leaders. My decisions and actions occurred at a time when I was representing UNCG PRIDE!, a group on this campus I have served (and will continue to serve, if only in a different capacity) since I first came here. As a leader, I understand the concept of accountability. When a person does something wrong, harms himself or another person or harms a group or community because of his or her own decisions and actions, that person will be held accountable.
What kind of group image did I portray to the community? As a student leader, what kind of example was I setting to our members? Not a very good one. Because of this, I have had to face what has probably been the most painful and emotional public consequence of my decisions: I am no longer an executive board member of UNCG PRIDE!.
Although I was not the only person who made wrong or poor choices that night, I was the one who made the decision to take my actions into the public while representing my group. PRIDE! was automatically, negatively reflected upon in the minds of hundreds of people. My resignation from the PRIDE! board last Wednesday was the accountability I faced as a student leader and it is one I took voluntarily when asked to do so by the board. Other board members will be held fairly accountable for their actions. In leadership and in life, personal and public accountability must be enforced.
I did not write these things in my column for pity or sympathy. I wrote this open and honest message for one simple reason: I am publicly confronting my decisions in an effort and hope that the difficult lessons I have learned can be imparted upon my friends, fellow students and community. Hopefully, others can learn from my mistakes and not make the same decisions I made.
Life, especially as a college student, is full of poor choices. Decisions are made and lessons are learned. My negative decisions and life situations can, hopefully, be turned into a positive impact for my organization and for my friends. I will "bear my cross" and the responsibility I now have in owning up to my mistakes and imparting the lessons I have learned so that others may learn through me. I have learned a hard, almost fatal lesson and if I can save just one person from making the same irresponsible decisions I made, then we are all better off for it.
Read more from Matt at his blog, www.matthillnc.com.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 4
Juliet C.
posted 10/12/06 @ 1:37 AM EST
While you list the lessons you have learned, you do not discuss the mistake you have made, which is crucial. How are people who struggle with alcohol abuse (those you know you are are close to you) to know when it becomes abuse? Perhaps you could have shared that incident despite its embarassing and shameful reflection of yourself. (Continued…)
Will
posted 10/12/06 @ 3:15 PM EST
Either you are not a passionate writer or you do not feel any remorse for your actions because your feelings are not coming across. You state multiple times, or make implications, that you have taken responsibility for your actions. (Continued…)
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