2008 Woodie Awards
The Erogenous Zone: Bisexuality - Fluidity or fence-sitting?
Brook Taylor
Issue date: 10/24/06 Section: Life
I'm so lucky to have the friends that I do. After watching me endure a particularly hellish couple of days filled with heartache and frustration, my best buds made it their duty to cheer me up. Whether it was talking with me for hours, taking me out for cherry cheesecake ice cream, or sitting through awful horror movies just so I could get a laugh, my friends have been pivotal in the re-brightening of my world.
One such outing not only made me feel better, but also raised a question that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since: is bisexuality an open-minded ebb and flow between the sexes or is it simply putting off the decision to live life as a gay or straight individual?
This all came about when my ex-girlfriend-turned confidante got me out of the house to run some errands with her. As we walked up and down the aisles of a store talking about anything and everything, I confided in her that I thought I was going through a time in my bisexuality where all I was interested in were women. I explained that I find certain men extremely appealing, but in terms of whom I'm currently open to emotionally, women are the only ones showing up on my radar.
Her response was pretty much what I was expecting. "Honey, you may not want to hear this, but you're a straight-up dyke."
I told her that I had contemplated that possibility, but that I also couldn't ignore the fact that I lust pretty seriously after some men. Bam Margera, Billy Corgan, Prince, and Ewan McGregor (among oh so many others, famous and not) all have bones I'd love to jump, given the chance.
She then asked which gender I like sleeping with more. After giving it some thought, I answered that, on the whole, I have definitely had more fun and received the most satisfaction from the women I've slept with than the men. "Well that's sign number one," she replied with a laugh.
But I'm not so easily sold on using the quality of previous trysts to give a cut-and-dry determination of sexual orientation. There are a lot of factors that can influence that quality. Were you drunk? Comfortable? In a relationship? Emotionally stable?
One such outing not only made me feel better, but also raised a question that I haven't been able to stop thinking about since: is bisexuality an open-minded ebb and flow between the sexes or is it simply putting off the decision to live life as a gay or straight individual?
This all came about when my ex-girlfriend-turned confidante got me out of the house to run some errands with her. As we walked up and down the aisles of a store talking about anything and everything, I confided in her that I thought I was going through a time in my bisexuality where all I was interested in were women. I explained that I find certain men extremely appealing, but in terms of whom I'm currently open to emotionally, women are the only ones showing up on my radar.
Her response was pretty much what I was expecting. "Honey, you may not want to hear this, but you're a straight-up dyke."
I told her that I had contemplated that possibility, but that I also couldn't ignore the fact that I lust pretty seriously after some men. Bam Margera, Billy Corgan, Prince, and Ewan McGregor (among oh so many others, famous and not) all have bones I'd love to jump, given the chance.
She then asked which gender I like sleeping with more. After giving it some thought, I answered that, on the whole, I have definitely had more fun and received the most satisfaction from the women I've slept with than the men. "Well that's sign number one," she replied with a laugh.
But I'm not so easily sold on using the quality of previous trysts to give a cut-and-dry determination of sexual orientation. There are a lot of factors that can influence that quality. Were you drunk? Comfortable? In a relationship? Emotionally stable?
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Samantha
posted 10/24/06 @ 2:33 AM EST
I think one can be bisexual and have a preference (like me), but you are right, it depends on a lot of factors. One thing I do know is that the world, along with sexuality, is not in black and white. (Continued…)
Amy Bodsford
posted 10/27/06 @ 11:05 AM EST
I like this column. I don't really get why some people think bisexuality doesn't exist. I think everyone is bisexual to some extent and I think that's healthy. (Continued…)
Post a Comment