2008 Woodie Awards
How To: Deal with flaky friends
Crash Course
Courtney Bippley
Issue date: 10/23/07 Section: Life
You're fed up, angry, and you just want to punch someone! It's completely understandable when you've just been stood up for the third time in a week by someone you at least used to call a friend. Don't get too bent out of shape, though, because that is what's to be expected when you have a flaky friend.
First, let's define what a flaky friend is. A flaky friend is "someone who is enjoyable at times, but when things get out of hand, they bail. Like a flake of bran stuck in your teeth during class, the whole situation is irritating and distracting," says Tamara Canady.
Tiffany Watson defines flaky friends as "friends who are not there when you need them, [and they] only come around when they need or want something."
Along the same lines, "friends that come around only when they need your advice…" is what Travis Broaddus considers flaky.
It doesn't necessarily mean that this person is a bad person; they might be good, however unreliable people. They tend to forget that you made plans unless you call and remind them every hour. It might feel like nine out of ten times it's you calling them, and whoever is physically closest to them takes precedence over any previous commitments. If you invite them to lunch, for example, they're late no matter how much notice they have, and usually arrive with a whole bunch of people you've never seen before.
It would be easier if they did it on purpose or if they truly didn't care about you, because then you could get mad and cut them out of your life with no regrets.
Unfortunately, it's not that easy. Often, these people don't know that they're flaky, and they are charismatic. You like them and you still want to be their friend.
You end up making excuses for them like, "They didn't call because they were busy." Or, "Well, she hasn't seen her boyfriend in a while so that's more important right now." "He doesn't want to use up all his cell phone minutes." When you finally come to the realization that this is not a good friendship, what do you do?
First, let's define what a flaky friend is. A flaky friend is "someone who is enjoyable at times, but when things get out of hand, they bail. Like a flake of bran stuck in your teeth during class, the whole situation is irritating and distracting," says Tamara Canady.
Tiffany Watson defines flaky friends as "friends who are not there when you need them, [and they] only come around when they need or want something."
Along the same lines, "friends that come around only when they need your advice…" is what Travis Broaddus considers flaky.
It doesn't necessarily mean that this person is a bad person; they might be good, however unreliable people. They tend to forget that you made plans unless you call and remind them every hour. It might feel like nine out of ten times it's you calling them, and whoever is physically closest to them takes precedence over any previous commitments. If you invite them to lunch, for example, they're late no matter how much notice they have, and usually arrive with a whole bunch of people you've never seen before.
It would be easier if they did it on purpose or if they truly didn't care about you, because then you could get mad and cut them out of your life with no regrets.
Unfortunately, it's not that easy. Often, these people don't know that they're flaky, and they are charismatic. You like them and you still want to be their friend.
You end up making excuses for them like, "They didn't call because they were busy." Or, "Well, she hasn't seen her boyfriend in a while so that's more important right now." "He doesn't want to use up all his cell phone minutes." When you finally come to the realization that this is not a good friendship, what do you do?
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