2008 Woodie Awards
...And justice for all
Paul McNeill
Issue date: 10/23/07 Section: Sports
Anaheim Ducks right winger Todd Bertuzzi was placed on the injured list on Oct. 15 because of a concussion-he was expected to be out at least a week. Bertuzzi is coming off an injury-plagued season, having played in only 15 games last season because of a back injury.
That lost season seems fair considering Bertuzzi's checkered past. Bertuzzi was suspended in 2004 for sucker-punching Steve Moore of the Colorado Avalanche during a game. He missed the rest of that season and the playoffs. He was reinstated after the lockout that wiped out the 2004-05 season.
In a just world Bertuzzi wouldn't have the opportunity to suffer a dozen more concussions, which he rightly deserves, because the NHL would have handed Bertuzzi a lifetime ban. Instead, he's now locked into an $8 million, two-year contract with the Ducks while Moore has yet to return to hockey.
On a level playing field Bertuzzi would have served time for assault and battery, and he would now be living in a halfway house and bagging groceries for Food Lion. But life isn't fair, especially in the multi-billion dollar realm of sports. But what if all was right in the world?
-All Mike Lowell-type players earn Alex Rodriguez-type salaries.
-Every fan who complains about showboating is barred from watching any sporting event set after 1945.
-However, any player who hams it up for simply scoring two points, catching a pass, running two yards, or making a tackle is forced to play the rest of the game in a tutu. That should kill any desire to show off after every play.
-A tree falls on Roger Clemens' house. No one is hurt, but the Rocket must pay for all repairs out of pocket. After searching for a contractor he is finally forced out of desperation to hire an old company that's past its prime. Despite signing a huge contract, the company starts work four months late, and because of injured and aging workers, construction is delayed until coming to a halt at the most crucial time of the year. Clemens, however, is forced to pay the company in full despite several unfulfilled expectations.
That lost season seems fair considering Bertuzzi's checkered past. Bertuzzi was suspended in 2004 for sucker-punching Steve Moore of the Colorado Avalanche during a game. He missed the rest of that season and the playoffs. He was reinstated after the lockout that wiped out the 2004-05 season.
In a just world Bertuzzi wouldn't have the opportunity to suffer a dozen more concussions, which he rightly deserves, because the NHL would have handed Bertuzzi a lifetime ban. Instead, he's now locked into an $8 million, two-year contract with the Ducks while Moore has yet to return to hockey.
On a level playing field Bertuzzi would have served time for assault and battery, and he would now be living in a halfway house and bagging groceries for Food Lion. But life isn't fair, especially in the multi-billion dollar realm of sports. But what if all was right in the world?
-All Mike Lowell-type players earn Alex Rodriguez-type salaries.
-Every fan who complains about showboating is barred from watching any sporting event set after 1945.
-However, any player who hams it up for simply scoring two points, catching a pass, running two yards, or making a tackle is forced to play the rest of the game in a tutu. That should kill any desire to show off after every play.
-A tree falls on Roger Clemens' house. No one is hurt, but the Rocket must pay for all repairs out of pocket. After searching for a contractor he is finally forced out of desperation to hire an old company that's past its prime. Despite signing a huge contract, the company starts work four months late, and because of injured and aging workers, construction is delayed until coming to a halt at the most crucial time of the year. Clemens, however, is forced to pay the company in full despite several unfulfilled expectations.
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