2008 Woodie Awards
Balance: the secret to happiness?
Guest Column
Victoria de Nay
Issue date: 4/15/08 Section: Opinions
On my 24th birthday I wished to be happy forever and blew out the candle. On my way home, though, I realized that the wish was flawed. Happiness isn't guaranteed by merely wishing for it. After spending the past 15 years wallowing in deep depression, I finally learned that happiness must be earned. I personally believe it can only be attained by balancing all aspects of life, such as work and play.
I've spent most of my short life being a severe procrastinator. I was rarely able to enjoy the times that were supposed to be enjoyable, since I was constantly worrying about the repercussions of avoiding my priorities. For that reason the times I spent playing were the most depressing times in my life. I've spent 15 years of my life afraid of wasting my future and ashamed of my wasted past.
My perfectionism is the reason I procrastinated all those years. I believed that if my work wasn't perfect, I was a failure at life. And so I just avoided working until the last minute of the deadline. Now I allow myself to produce lousy work, knowing that I can always revise it later. By taking work less seriously I'm able to see that working can be fun. As a result, life is more of an adventure than a burden.
My positive thoughts had a positive effect on my actions and vice versa, thereby curing my excessive pessimism. Without a little pessimism, though, we wouldn't have anything to compare our positive thoughts to. Otherwise, how would we know we're experiencing true happiness? Even our thoughts need to be balanced with optimism and pessimism, despite society's claim that happiness must be completely optimistic.
I now spend very little time analyzing whether I'm happy or not. Instead, I spend my time being distracted by various activities. By moping around doing little more than the dead in their graves, I might as well not exist. And even though I had often considered suicide in the past, I'm now thankful to be alive to see the wonders of being connected to the world.
Most importantly, my renewed perspective of life will enable me to achieve anything I wish for. I've vowed to never again fall into the illusion that my dreams alone will make me happy. Next year when I'm given the chance to redo my original birthday wish, I'll be wishing for the courage to make my dreams a reality-even when wasting my life away wishing for happiness just seems easier.
I've spent most of my short life being a severe procrastinator. I was rarely able to enjoy the times that were supposed to be enjoyable, since I was constantly worrying about the repercussions of avoiding my priorities. For that reason the times I spent playing were the most depressing times in my life. I've spent 15 years of my life afraid of wasting my future and ashamed of my wasted past.
My perfectionism is the reason I procrastinated all those years. I believed that if my work wasn't perfect, I was a failure at life. And so I just avoided working until the last minute of the deadline. Now I allow myself to produce lousy work, knowing that I can always revise it later. By taking work less seriously I'm able to see that working can be fun. As a result, life is more of an adventure than a burden.
My positive thoughts had a positive effect on my actions and vice versa, thereby curing my excessive pessimism. Without a little pessimism, though, we wouldn't have anything to compare our positive thoughts to. Otherwise, how would we know we're experiencing true happiness? Even our thoughts need to be balanced with optimism and pessimism, despite society's claim that happiness must be completely optimistic.
I now spend very little time analyzing whether I'm happy or not. Instead, I spend my time being distracted by various activities. By moping around doing little more than the dead in their graves, I might as well not exist. And even though I had often considered suicide in the past, I'm now thankful to be alive to see the wonders of being connected to the world.
Most importantly, my renewed perspective of life will enable me to achieve anything I wish for. I've vowed to never again fall into the illusion that my dreams alone will make me happy. Next year when I'm given the chance to redo my original birthday wish, I'll be wishing for the courage to make my dreams a reality-even when wasting my life away wishing for happiness just seems easier.
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