Personal experiences: Living life "Lolita"

My name is Megan, and I'm that girl you see around campus. I carry a parasol, I dress in ruffles and frills, and I wear those weird shoes with the chunks cut out of the back. You probably call me "parasol girl", "Little Bo Peep", "Alice in Wonderland", or "Strawberry Shortcake." You stare at me at me as I pass, you take pictures of me without asking, and you might even ask me questions. I just thought I'd clarify that I fully realize what I'm wearing, and what that looks like to the rest of society.

The fashion style I wear started in Japan, as influenced by the Rococo and Victorian Eras. It's called "Lolita" an unfortunate use of the title of Nabakov’s infamous novel, but it has nothing to do with being sexualized. In fact, the fashion focuses on modesty. You'll rarely see me wearing a dress above the knee or without tights or knee socks. It's also a fashion that focuses on quality. Lolita brands, like Baby the Stars Shine Bright, Angelic Pretty, Innocent World, and Metamorphose, make dresses that can cost up to four hundred dollars a piece. They feature custom printed fabrics, intricate details like pintucks and bows, and sometimes even custom-made lace.

I'm certainly not the only lolita either! There are thousands of lolitas around the world, most of which are organized by the Elegant Gothic Lolita (EGL) Livejournal Community.  While our campus is sparse as far as frilly dresses go, there's a group that I participate in that's full of North Carolina lolitas, and our community consists of over 60 people in the state. We do things together like most groups of friends would. We go to museums, movies, and have picnics. Some girls wear the fashion every day, like me, some only wear it for special occasions.

There are different kinds of Lolita fashion too. I wear predominately sweet Lolita, which means that the clothing is predominantly pastel colors and prints like story book characters, sweets, and animals. I also wear gothic Lolita, which is mostly black and white. Classic Lolita is the last major style of Lolita, which is a bit more mature, and uses muted pinks and blues as well as floral prints.

It takes me a long time to get dressed in the morning, and there are a lot of components to my outfits. It starts out with a pair of bloomers or shorts, to make it a little easier to maneuver around. The next layer is a petticoat, typically made out of stiff netting called tulle that helps my skirt to hold its shape. Typically I wear Jumperskirts (JSKs), which are basically just sleeveless dresses. I almost always wear blouses underneath them, unless it's really warm outside. Knee socks or tights are pretty much always a must, as well as a headband or hair bow. My shoes are normally decorated with bows, or I wear my favorite Rocking Horse shoes. They’re knock-offs of Vivienne Westwood shoes, and have faux-wood soles with a slice cut out of the back. My bags are purposefully cute as well, I like smaller bags with straps that go across the chest for easier maneuverability, my favorite is shaped like a strawberry.

I own a mix of actual Japanese brand pieces and things I make myself. Though I'm an English major, I have a pretty strong sewing knowledge and do make dresses and skirts. I also do actually shop at normal stores believe it or not.

Ruffled blouses have been popular in the past few years, and headbands and jewelry are very easy to come by.  Mary jane shoes are pretty easy to find, especially in the fall, and work very well for Lolita outfits. One of my favorite dresses to wear, a gingham almost 50s-looking dress, even came from H&M.

I'll be the first to admit, it takes a lot of dedication to wear Lolita every day. It's not the most comfortable clothing, especially in the heat. It can be hard to fit my large skirts in those tiny chairs in the Jarrell lecture hall. People stare at me, whisper as I pass, and make a lot of comments. 

For the most part the comments I get are good.  The ladies who swipe cards at the Spartan Restaurant are always sweet and compliment my outfits often. More recently, people have recognized the fashion by name, which just makes my day because it is pretty rare. People stop me to tell me I’m cute on a pretty regular basis, and tell me they like my dress or my shoes. 

I do get some strange comments. For example, the next time someone calls me Mary Poppins I’m inclined to ask him or her why. I don’t exactly wear ankle length skirts and funny little hats, so the comparison is lost on me. I’ve had more than one person ask me “What happened to your shoes?” when I’m wearing my Rocking Horse shoes, as though I didn’t notice symmetrical, precisely cut pieces had suddenly fallen of the back. 

Sadly though, I get good bit of rude comments as well. It's not that I'm particularly surprised by the fact that people insult me. Perhaps I just expected college students, or even adults outside of school, to be a bit more mature. Side comments like "You look ridiculous" or "Where's Toto?" are just so juvenile that I don't really let them bother me. Some reactions to me are just rude though, and some even make me afraid to walk alone on campus. I've been yelled at out the windows of cars, wolf-whistled at, yelled at to lift up my skirt, and I catch people taking pictures of me without my permission on a weekly basis. I know, it's surprising I realize it when you're pretending to text with your phone two inches from the right side of your face. It's just so sneaky. 

I try not to let it deter me from dressing the way I want to. The good comments far outweigh the bad, and there are a lot of good reasons to keep wearing lolita. It makes me happy, which is a good enough reason to wear pretty much anything I feel. I know my friends support my clothing choices, and I realize that anyone who makes passing insults isn't worth my time. Some days are more difficult, of course, but some days a respectful stranger will ask for a picture that I can actually pose and smile for, or a little girl will call me a princess. Lolita has given me a huge amount of self-confidence, a group of great friends, and a passion for sewing. That’s a whole lot more than any one snide uncreative comment can take away from me.